you win again, gameday.
winter break is gonna be like a weird mixture of rehab fat camp and holiday cheer.
he said i was the most charming throwing up drunk person hes ever taken care of. so of course i had sex with him.
He gave me a promise ring. He promised that he will imagine me as every girl he fucks in college.
literally hosing herself off in my back yard with the hose. i offered her the shower but she refused. that drunk.
I figured you left because I was a shit show. Were you still there when I got locked in the bathroom and didn't know where I was? If not, that could have been a dream. I'm still not sure.
Apparently 'check out this motherfucker' is not an appropriate greeting to use in the vicinity of sitting united states senators. Who knew
this mall makes me feel like I just rolled a 9 in jumanji and got the stampede card
I woke up in a sink... Not like curled up on top of it though. I was standing, bent over, face first. IN THE DAMN SINK.
Come to the roof. We are drinking breakfast.
I took did three shots of fireball and did and handstand. When I stood up some busty slut lead me my the hand down the hall into her dorm room.
But I'm sure your having and "a monumentally better time" repeating the 12th grade
Nobody wants to date "Eats Taco Bell Secretly In Her Car" Girl
Holy shit, we're married as fuck.
I went to a party last night....I stole all of their ornaments and the toaster oven.
Turns out my mom didn't really want to know I was in a new dimension last night from smoking so much.
Randomize
