hell yes lets make some ravioli
Full bush! Can't stay! Need ride! Come on bro!
i haven't been laid since the bush administration. it's frustrating.
Some advice for success: 1) Go ugly early, it saves you time and money; 2) If you can't pork a princess, pound a pig for practice; and 3) Beauty is only a light switch away.
ur like the dr phil of bizarro world.
BROstal carolina. Watching a boy drinking rum and coke out of a cup of noodle empty cup.
is it just me, or are high schoolers getting sexier?
If she doesnt understand your inherent need to teabag an emo chick, do you really want to be with her?
I was going to call you an awful person for that. but then i realized we're both awful people.
Really* awful people.
the fact that he forgave me for making out with the bartender is proof that i can fuck my way out of anything.
You sat there for 20minutes trying to seduce the picture of my dad.
Selling drugs in raindeer antlers is the best way to spread christmas cheer
umm, I just masturbated to old Justin timberlake on MTV jams. in need of dick ASAP
Is it appropriate to send an apology gift to his roommates for breaking the bathroom sink during crazy sex?
Got home & pissed on my moms carpet like a bear in the woods. I woke up to a picture message with me passed out on the floor with my pants down & hands covering my face. I've had an awkward week
Nothing like a near-death experience to start off your Thanksgiving...
I shouldn't be allowed to be in america for NYE... or any major holiday for that matter
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