I just am on my way home.. i had 3 and one startd crying and puking.. so they went home. one bitch fuckin ruined it for evryone.. u playin cards?
And then I said "flip over. I want to show you something i learned in Afghanistan."
Dude, you just left me a 3 minute voicemail of pop rocks in your mouth. Im sitting right next you
Apparently throwing up on your own cape is still a party foul
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Cop gave me a ticket for public drunkedness, and then I convinced him to drive me back to the party
doing lines of blow through a tampon applicator in the study lounge at 7am so i can finish an italian composition that was due a week and a half ago...such a good student.
Handcuffed. To. Steering. Wheel. Fuck.
i robbed the continental breakfast last night
I'm this close to masturbating to his profile pics from 2006
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He just walked up to be, grabbed my boob and said 'i think they have shrunk' i have no idea who he was.
She just texted me that she's horny, then started quoted random music, then telling me everything she regrets. I don't think there's enough tequila in the world for me to deal with her...
So we played the stone cold theme song and continued to chug 2 beers at once and everyone just looked in shock
I asked if he wanted to sext and he just started sending me pictures of his beard.
drinking vodka out of a wine glass to feel a little bit classier about myself.
My uterus just tried to get me to buy a tub of cookie dough
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