It smelt so bad when i tried biting off her underwear that i didn't want to touch with my mouth
he pushed my hair back because he said it made me look like kelly kapowski and he told me to call him zach
I've seriously contemplated telling him the baby isn't his just so I can meet Maury Povich
No period for spring break; use this wisely.
I walked into his living room and saw him watching the play-offs while eating tomato paste out of the can with a bottle of wine. I'm telling you to stop talking to him. now.
I don't know how much more of summer my liver can take.
I need to make a 'no kissing' rule for my casual hookups during cold season...this cold is so not worth it.
You know it's time to cut back when your unemployed drug dealer roommate tells you that you party too hard.
After we were done the second time she turned to me and called me a Hardcore Armadillo. Also, her O face involves crossed eyes. You tell me.
That would be a dream come true. Seriously, he's like my mount everest, my life's ambition is to climb him.
My g-ma saw your dick-pic and wants you to know I've got a keeper. She says her big whopper died in Korea. Good thing g-pa is still asleep.
So what your saying is I can use her desperation to my advantage. Fuck, this must be how pretty girls feel.
should we try and roll a cross joint since its good friday? you know, for jesus
Turns out I tore my ACL when I fell off the mechanical bull.. Happy bday to me
Thank god you don't know my other address I'm safe for now
Awww you know you would like it if I found u
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