A hot woman with candy. This is what heaven is filled with
I like you better when you drink
I like you better when I drink too
He threw up over the balcony and blamed it on an invisible garden gnome.
What's the point in getting all dressed up and going when i'm just gonna throw up on myself by midnight?
when we asked you if you had had anything to drink tonight you looked up from the toilet while cupping the water into your hands and said "this.. just this"
I started drinking at around 8.. Started heavily drinking around 815.
I just beer bonged. Soco and spite please get on my levvl my hair is in buns
But life is now good. Well, not good, good would be not wearing the penis hat with the extended family of the boy I just cheated on, but as good as it's going to get today
Haha. Last winter I went through this phase where id go to the bars with my own giant goblet and demand to be served white wine and red bull hah
Doesn't matter how many times we tell him the kid's a freshman, he keeps repeating "cupcake boy shall be mine" and honestly you need to intervene
Well I'm missing half a toenail if that's any indication of my night
WHY WOULD YOU SWIPE RIGHT???!!!!!
The same reason I ordered and ate almost an entire pizza last night
Meeting him up for him to pay half of the Plan B was awkward but worth it cause I'm broke as fuck
In other news, I tore a tendon in my hand from giving my boyfriend handjobs so that's how my day is going
I had no plans to sleep with him, but he had to stay because of the snow. I always say, don't look a gift storm in the mouth.
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