Whats contracted in vegas does not stay in vegas....
My mom gets in bar fights. She doesn't go to bed early.
You and i never got to the, we dont care what we look like friend-stage. you know? like not brushing your teeth stage.
sorry im really high
I woke up with a solved rubics cube in my purse
well let's see. after you forcefully shoved a half-eaten apple in my mouth, you ruined the pepsi by dumping an entire beer in there.
Just cause I'm shitfaced wasted every night waking up in random beds all over Manhattan does not mean I'm a mess.
Truth. Respect the hustle.
Also, any YOLOwl-related sex photos will result in you winning ten orgasms, courtesy of myself, as well as sweets and bacon-based dinner. All entrants welcome
if any part of your body has ever entered my vagina you are fucking obligated to speak to me if i so desire
You kept saying you only wanted to drink until you were sleepy. You succeeded if "sleepy" means you sleepied around with 4/6 of the guys there.
If making out with three guys at once at a Kesha concert while simultaneously smearing glitter all over yourself doesn't convince her you're gay, nothing will
I assume some self respect is too lofty of a gift idea
I was hoping for a marriage proposal... Or at least an offer to sleep in his bed.
There's so much mac and cheese stuck to my foot right now
At this point, I wouldn't be surprised if he laughs at all of our attempts to keep him sober.
Slammed 3 beers and just bowled a 129\nI guess alcohol IS the answer
Randomize