I just want a better ending for myself. Not walking around with one sock on and my bush hanging out.
Do you think it'll be awkward standing up at their wedding knowing I've slept with both the bride and the groom?
I dont know how to say this. But the hottest girl where im at has one arm.
God that barista is texting me bout his life like i care i mean dude just hook me up with free coffee thats why i gave you my number
And for some reason I was covered in ants... So your probably covered in ants as well
I'm pretty sure they changed the plants at the grocery store because of us
Until then we have the self affirmation from retweets and nights alone with pizza..
Just watched a drunk girl hand her valet ticket to a cop and walk away.
Totally. Bang on. He'll be fine. He might cry into your perfect tits once in a while, but that's the price ya pay.
I feel so much better about my break up knowing that he's having his 26th birthday at Rollar kingdom\n
As I read your response saying I need a tan before I can become a go-go dancer, a girl cane up to work and gave me 10 coupons for 100 days of tanning for a dollar.
This is fate. You were destined to be a stripper.
You very well can't change your mind now. It would upset the natural flow of life.
The plane down was full of newly weds and I counted 5 pairs of mile high club members. Actually, one might have been a group membership discount.
They're magnificent. It's like god made her last but hadn't fulfilled his boob quota.
Ive seen a birth plenty of times, pretty awesome like a bear trying to climb out of a volkswagon.
We had an argument over whether or not she had super strength. She settled it by dragging me to the bed room and throwing me on the bed. Then forcefully fucking me. She won the argument.
Randomize
