There's a 34yo winking at me. Why do i find this weird when my bf is a 38yo married man?
For a day that started with shitting my pants, things turned out fairly well.
Real friends wouldn't let me shotgun a 4loko after already seeing me trying to eat a girl out through her jeans.
Hey since its national brother week is that eiffel tower option with your girlfriend still on the table?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Your roommate is pacing with a pen in his mouth flapping like a duck. That brownie got me fucked but not enough to understand this. Come back!
He does that
Tomorrow, if I don't look at least 5% better than I do on a regular day to day basis, I want you to hit me and tell me that no one will ever love me if I continue to look like I just rolled out of a cocaine induced hibernation. I'm asking you for tough love.
2000 dollars has been put in for bail money. Also we're signing contracts
He should get nipple rings. No homo...I actually don't think there is a way to make it non gay.
Yeah you should have just let that thought go.
well, at the moment I'm sleeping in someone's closet in a buzzlightyear snuggie, so I can't judge,
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
low point in my life last night. licked pizza grease off my iphone screen..
I can already tell, the amount of fun I'm having right now is not nearly going to compensate for the amount of "let us never speak of this again" I'm gonna have tomorrow
just shotgunning some tallboys in the cooler, you?
HOW DO YOU GET RAISES EVERY TWO WEEKS?!
the best part of christmas was when my mom opened the handcuffs that were supposed to be for jen. Surprisingly, not the most awkward situation of the day.
Wait is this black Chris #1, cocaine Chris, or gay Chris?
No this is saxophone Chris
The twitch Bob Ross stream is the happiest little hangover cure ever.
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