Ikea night.
?
Insert tab A into swedish slot B
dont you remember the bouncer yelling at you while you were trying to piss?
no. why was the bouncer in the bathroom?
he wasn't. neither were you.
watching my parents drink 4 loko out of usf cups playing pool and rocking out to ACDC...
Can I come live with you?
My epitaph should read "Margaritas: she never learned"
They are baked and once again have spent the last 45 mins talking about opening up a world wide business called "pickle on a stick"
We've had the 'life would be so much better if we were both lesbians' conversation too much for that to be okay.
is it sad that I can recall my outfits by who took them off?
No, this is a senior booty call. It cannot be ignored.
Whoever owns the butter that i always steal out of the office fridge definitely put THC butter in there this time. Shit just got real.
I'm highly inebriated watching star wars, this text was sent via the force
Hungover. No words. Just memes.
You fell out of his top bunk onto his set of golf clubs. After seeing blood on your leg, you proceeded to sing "the first cut is the deepest" while sprawled on the golf clubs
sometime during the night he found me in the empty hotttub singing marvins room in only my bra.
I got fucked in a bat mobile this morning. Being slutty rules.
No I'm not lying to you. I'm just not telling you the whole story. There's a massive difference.
Randomize
