she was home schooled till college. were she learned how to give the most amazing blowjobs is still a mystery.
its taking every last moral i have not to steal this bike
you still have morals?
Well actually itd just be too hard to ride the bike with this large rake i just stole
you were saying "i am the vodka queen!" and then in a different voice replying to yourself "all hail the vodka queen! you are so beautiful!"
Wouldn't be the first time..I think there's a subliminal message constantly playing in my mind that says 'blackout', 'throwing up is fun' 'too sober'
Dude, someone broke the toilet seat in two, the is a pair of panties on the kitchen counter, and the entire house smells like a brewery
she looked at me completely serious and said "orgasms are 15% Stronger during a hurricane" and started to take all her clothes off
I think I'm still fucked. I can see the electricty going through the street car lines
Right... Let's keep my vodka tinged mind focused on simple words
I'm going to get like 25 drinks at their wedding and just leave them sitting around or give them to hobos.
Would be fun, plus since its in public I'll keep my penis in my pants
I am in his childhood bedroom and I feel like his trophies are applauding me and his stuffed bunny is disgusted with me. Did you know he was a mathlete?
My mom opened up my bank statement today....my first alcohol intervention class is at 7:30am tomorrow.
I'll have party bus drop you off in the morning.
All my money is going towards making my vagina hairless
Worth it.
I'm going to be an 8 year old girl down there foreverrrr #fountainofyouth
He still want's to kick my ass for fucking his sister, probably a bad idea to leave the bar with his ex...
I slept with six men with different nationalities this week. Who says I'm not a woman of culture?
Randomize
