last night I thought his shirt said yale... but this morning it definitely says old navy.
Something growled at me in your dark backyard last nt. Hoping it was my landwalking laser sharks and not Andy.
Im rethinking drunk tuesdays. Also rethinking ovaries.
The streak lives on, still havent been to Towson without throwing up
The Wii Fit is already telling me I'm an alcoholic.
i don't understand how she was down there for so long, she's like a mermaid, a blowjob giving mermaid.
I don't know why people felt they couldn't use the toilet with me passed out in the tub. I shut the curtain. It was like being in another room.
He was able to grab love handles during doggy style... I know we said spring break mexico diet starts next week but i think we need to start tomorrow.
I just woke up to pictures of every angle of his dick I'll ever need to see.
Beware of calls from Dad. I just had a longer than I would care to admit convo about the ididarod. Apparently it starts tomorrow.
Just saw a guy walking down the street carrying a giant inflatable penis
Just arrived at our party
Just got smoked out by my boss. Working in politics is great.
I'm kinda surprised he wouldn't be honored to take me back as a fuck buddy.
I just saw a girl drinking wine and walking her dog in footie pajamas and a mad hatter hat. First day of the new year and I think I'm in love.
I feel like you should put up a missed connections ad for this..
he had DANDRUFF in his PUBES. 0/10 would not blow again.
Randomize
