Yeah....I really appreciate it....I didn't even get it from hooking up....lame, atleast if a girl gets u sick when u r hooking up it was fun in its inception...
im pretty sure i tried to attack the vending machine last night
lol who won
well im in the hospital right now so u tell me
A 20 minute car ride back to your car with the girl u had drunk anal with is the most uncomfortable thing ever.
He warned me he may piss the bed. I'm oddly okay with this.
its official: beach shits are the exact same as mountain shits
Someone just got kicked out of the mall for being dressed like a giant cat. I feel like this is in your future.
Do you ever feel like a plastic bag?!
Look on the bright side, one day you will get to tell your grandkids how grandpappy got roofied on his 21st and woke up in a for sale house missing his shoes
We smoked a bowl in front of the abortion clinic shouting Obama at the protestors.
Hey, so I'm not coming into work til Friday. Some guy I've known for about 8 hours just offered me a free vacation to Maui and bought my plane ticket. He's Aussie so I'm 75% sure he won't murder me
The first thing we did this morning was see if we could see her barf in the prking lot from the roof. We could. It was in 5 spaces.
I just found a piece of squished oatmeal cream pie in my armpit. So very sad.
You sent 2 glasses of water to the table next us and told to the waitress they were on you. I repeat: water
Killing two birds with one stone tonight: mastrabation meditation. Win win.
Dude. I don't even want cuddles. I just want an acknowledgement that I just had balls in my mouth.
Randomize
