i woke up in his bed, he had my shirt on
and high school musical 3 was playing on his lap top
My boss just called me into his office to apologize for being an "inadvertant cockblock"
Hey is it bad when your boss leans over your desk and tells you "you smell like the Rainforest Cafe"??
Dont judge me. He may have been ugly but he was INCREDIBLE. He's like the Susan Boyle of sex.
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I feel like somehow my uterus ended up in my ribcage from all the keg stands i did last night..
He called the drink "The Annexation of Puerto Rico". He wouldn't tell us whats in it but said that we should all fear for our lives. Let's do this.
how bad is she
captain morgan with tits
We just reached that moment of the night when you start making cookie quesadillas. Party on Wayne
Tell him to dress up like Shaggy and kidnap him then bring him to me. We can pretend. Imaagination.
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New found love of volunteering, when there's free wine available at all times. Good times. And I get to to feel good about helping people.
That tingly feeling you're experiencing in your lady parts is my mustache. All the ladies of America are waking up feeling the same thing. You're welcome.
what better way to celebrate the birth of jesus christ than to get embarrassingly intoxicated and make poor decisions!?
Who knew that showing someone your boobs would make them stop crying.
If by fun you mean, did I meet her cousin for the.first time and bang him, then yes it was a productive evening.
We are taking a shrt nap on the sidewalk cme fine me if you want but dont wake me up
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