Oh my god he is having a sentimental moment right now.
He just sent me like a really heartfelt confession of love in which he ended with "make the apt, I'll hold your hand while you get your clit pierced."
Sundresses, hats, and big glasses. That is the greatest trick the devil ever taught women.
I wiped a tear off her cheek with my boner. It cheered her up
I swiped a lunchable and a gatorade from my one night stand's fridge, does it count as a date now since a meal was included?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
6 other girls and I took an ice cream truck to the bar when we couldn't get a cab. Best birthday ever.
Dave a horae rider a coqw boy
I really want to go out tonight but part of me wants to be able to honestly tell the judge tomorow that I didn't
He just found another high guy at wal-mart. There now friends. His friend is eating a cupcake
It's been decided..lingerie is an investment. You get free breakfast and cab rides out of it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I wanna introduce you to my balls, Thunder and Lightning.
Two questions. One. Where are you watching election results tomorrow? Two. Can we have Obama victory sex?
Can I interview you during sex or would that be weird?
If we all have the time, and the weather permits, and you have no plans, we should have another go at Operation Get Our Carless Friends Laid. All the lonely people will be out. We can take our lonely people out too.
He left for work so I drank pickle juice from his fridge
last night I mixed vodka in with my protein shake... and you tell me my new years resolution was impossible
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