Unmistakable female orgasm noises coming from upstairs shower
She must've brought a toy -- seriously doubt that he's up to the task
she tasted like a mixture of sweat and destiny
i looked at dads computer and apparently he was looking at job ads on craigslist and the only one clicked that turned purple said "GET PAID TO MASTURBATE"
This is ridiculous. It's like playing possible STD Clue, and I don't want to be the winner.
I'm sorry I kept calling you a pussy... but to be fair, you were being a pussy.
yes, i was eatting raw cookie dough and fingering myself at the same time.... is there a problem?
If you got tons of KY ads on HuluPlus, it's because I hit "relevant" every time.
"DO YOU LIKE FLYING KITES" WORKED AS A PICKUP LINE. SUCK IT.
Im pretty sure my housekeeper high fived her on the way out this morning
When I go out tonight I need to make sure to be really good. The Easter bunny doesn't deliver to jail
Yeah, last night in the parking lot was hot. I'm sure whoever has the surveillance tapes thinks so too.
He literally just patted me on the vagina and said goodnight to it.
Dude you literally tried to cook your phone in the microwave. You were so wasted you asked your mom to help you turn it on.
I think my FWB just broke up with me and i don't know how I feel about that
That was my first party and they were so suprised that this little freshman girl was a FUCKING BEER PONG QUEEN.
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