Raise your hand if you bought 2 annoying girls shots of water. CLOWNS.
So the D.A.R.E. essay I helped my tutor kid write won an award. Oh the irony.
I can't belive they dont sell booze Sunday mornings. I mean some of us have to work
Only girl at that party wearing a fake beard and I STILL get laid...
If we were unicorns we would fly together. Like in a pack. A pack of flying unicorns.
We pinky-swore to never fuck each other again.
I don't have any swimsuits that don't show off the weird handprint bruises on my hips. Do you have a onepiece I can borrow?
she fucked me tho cuz it was her cat's birthday. As soon as we were done she just says "ahhh tequila tuesdays"
Can you please reassure him im not a scary or intimidating person? And that really my entire life is a series of completely ridiculous events that have led me here?
I've been back for one day and I've already given two bjs. Improvement from last year.
but seriously, an anthropology paper shouldn't be hard if you're trashed, right?
You can get gift cards to the liquor store! This changes everything.
What the fuck i just wanna eat my froot loops and sext in peace. Y'all motherfuckers gotta be loud as shit and break my concentration
I'm not totally useless... You can use me as an example of what not to do
Hope you’re getting action boo.
Definitely no. I woke up next to a bag of McDonald's.
Randomize
