He was crying to my sister about feeling like a bad person. Then he groped my breasts.
she just made a shot glass out of magazine paper. I love her.
yes he does come on. what guy wouldnt want his penis named after a dragon
I get off at the next exit which doesn't have a shoulder, a guy is riding my ass so I cant stop. I think I got as much puke on his car as on mine.
Ok in all seriousness. Alcohol intake is now restricted for me. I found handcuffs in my trunk.
he's a firefighter. like being a firefighter screams MY DICK IS HUGE SO I'M NOT AFRAID TO DIE IN THIS FIRE.
see that vagina ? that vagina means business
I just told a bottle to be chill
and meant it
If it was any colder outside, the frost from my breath would make a mixed drink
we both turned hook ups into relationships we are crushing this thing called life right now.
I woke up and my backpack was empty. He used me for sex, and back to school supplies.
She is carving a little coffin out of some wood for her hamster that died. I'm flying home tonight.
STOP IT RIGHT NOW IM BEING A SINLESS CHILD OF GOD IN BED TRYING TO SLEEP AND YOURE SENDING ME MEMES ABOUT DICKS
And somehow in between all the vomitting you managed to mumble "Well this is attractive!" And I swear that's when I fell in love. Best. First. Date. Ever!
So just spent 30 minutes of my life talking to my cousins friend who told me she buys cocaine from a pizza place by asking for extra Parmesan
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