is it bad if i hope guys are like edward cullen and can read my mind. i could be a whore in disguise.
An eyelash just fell out into my container of rice. Searching for it, i took a single piece of rice out at a time coming to the coclusion that i should not be this high while eating rice.
i walked into his room and he was eskimo kissing his weed..
hes a good boy he deserves a good blow
Just ordered a clown who does balloon animals. No backing out now.
you tried to fill your inhaler with vodka
Well girls crying gets you hard so you're not really a good standard to me
My first drink last night was a 2-liter of jameson and coke. So hung over it hurt to put my pants back on
YOU STOLE THE WEDDING CAKE?!?!
Only one tier
Tastes like cardboard anyway
Come on down you're the next contestant on "lets go drinking!"
the fact that i came three times was completely negated by the fact that he high-fived himself after.
he was high. i was rolling face. we were both wearing grateful dead t shirts. at that point it's like we had no choice but to fuck
I just got a girl to make out with me just by saying "get at me." Get at me
Your ability to whip out your dick and take a pic anytime I text you is startling.
Swiping left on your brother's Tinder account is possibly the worst way to learn he broke up with his girlfriend.
Randomize
