Literally he has the smallest penis I've ever felt since 8th grade.
The cab driver referred to me as his little gumdrop, im sure he won't feel the same when he sees the vomit all over his floor.
Well that wasnt the exboyfriend i expected to hook up with today
having my hair in braids makes puking so easy. i am being an indian every halloween
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
hey did i steal that bike before or after the ball dropped, casue i might have broken my resolution already
She said I walked up to the McDonalds counter and ordered just a cup full of pickles then proceeded to offer some to everyone in the place.
He came out in cowboy boots and underpants holding a beer while he hugged my mom. I love Montana.
Whatever. I'm just trying to get my dick sucked while taking online harmonica lessons
Well Apparently I went to piss out my window last night, woulda been ok if I opened the window or the blinds.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Why is there ANOTHER stolen fire extinguisher in my room? You know that's a felony right...
Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome
WHAT KIND OF GUY JACKS OFF TO A PICTURE OF A BUTT WHAT IS THIS THE 1980s
You don't know true terror until you get stuck in a porta potty while frying your face off.
It's a sad day when you're not really phased by the McChicken video only because you've seen weirder porn.
He was actually surprised when I poured myself a glass full of straight vodka. Clearly he doesn't know me as well as he thinks.
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