No, a stripper letting you buy her dinner is not the same as a girlfriend.
We need to rekindle our bromance
i saw like six of her guido cousins in the jersey shore trailer alone. her family is having a dinner party for the premiere tonight.
So not only just find my adoption papers that I didnt know about in my parents house, but they say "child shows some signs of mental retardation".
The trick is to not slur when purchasing the condoms at 3am
This is one of the fundamental differences between you and I. If I found meat in a plastic bag, I wouldn't put it in my mouth.
Its a bummer that corporate america doesn't believe in $2 u call its on a Sunday night
Woke up to pictures of me cooking wings with a blow torch.
Some Russian dude just came up to us and I'm pretty sure he offered his girlfriend to have sex for 80 bucks. Whoever said porn movies were unrealistic.
Priorities: waking up on your doorstep desperately clutching half a meatball marinara but with no sign of your keys, purse or housemate. Where are you?!
I hate him. I fucked every one of his friends AND his fat brother and he still won't break up with me.
sex on a roof was cool and all but that superhero argument was the best part of the night hands down
That makes sense.. A good Bj is a trump card in any argument
The highlight of my night will be digging in other people's garbage
I really hope this is just a phase, because I am not capable of carrying both of our drunken whore asses through life. Too much dead weight....
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