Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
This girl wants me to lick her pits
pits??
Yeah pits, I think I still go for it though
Just met a female bro. Things are weird at the rugby party.
If I die tonight, I want you to know that your sister is awesome in bed
being able to look good while almost puking is a skill that takes a lot of puking to develop.
I AM SAFE. EVERYTHING IS FOG. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED.
you do realize that we pretended we were worms for like 10 minutes and inched around on the ground, don't you?
I was tripping balls on the bathroom floor and his dog walked in. The lights in his bathroom have motion sensors, so I thought his labrador retriever was Jesus.
Shes 18 and still has a curfew. it was great. didnt have to worry about her still being here in the morning.
There were four people in the car. The girls sure know how to blow. I think we almost crashed when the driver climaxed.
Well it's official, last night I hooked up with the third girl from the apartment downstairs.
Dude that's a hat trick!
I know, I tossed my hat on the floor as I was walking out.
There are more dirty dishes in my bed then in the kitchen. Have I lost at life?
I'm too old for chlamydia. That's for 20 year olds who go to clubs and do drugs I've never heard of.
I just ate your leftovers whilst watching Garfield and Friends. Thank you across the board.
Slept with a member of the band last night, found out today after extensive stalking he’s engaged. Pro tip: don’t research one night stands.
Randomize
