i want to open my blinds to let the sunlight in my room, but i'm afraid my neighbors will be able to see me drinking and judge me
We started hooking up and a group of freshmen outside my window started chanting my name. Encouraging yet distracting
If i apologize for punching you in the liver repeatedly will you explain where the grass stains on my shoulders came from?
it's my sixth sense. If there's an orgy within 20 miles of me i'll know about if. Or be a part of it.
i am way too old to be getting fingered at work
ok perfect im about to bedazzle our mini keg named hans. he is ready to rage
Its 8 in the morning and I wouldn't pass a breathalyzer test, How's your day been?
So I got this new job… ever been fucked in a corner office before?
It's beautiful and huge. Like a dinosaur.
woke up to my little sister's best-friend's boyfriend in my bed, but how's your saturday going?
Brother gave me a harry potter philosophy book for xmas we need to get stoned and talk about this.
Well, I was giving him a handy and I sighed in boredom. He heard. I had to fake moaning sounds after he asked if I sighed.
What does it mean when the bartender gives you 4 straws?
If I knew the person sucking my dick didn't say thank you for their Christmas presents I wouldn't be able to cum.
ya figured it'd be nice to explore the mythical world of sober sex i've heard so much about
i've often wondered how it works
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