is the fantasy fufillment of sex in a hot tub worth the possible infection?
my phone is just a graveyard for last nights mistakes. at least it's giving me hints as to where i was though, i'm like carmen sandiego
ok, im coming! i just found some lemon square in my bangs, washing that out..this shit is all over me! was i in a pie eating contest?
yes
did i win? did you like my outfit? or should i change, if you were horny would you bang me?
can't wait for January to be Over so I don't have to see all the fat resolutionists working out.
gettin drunk isnt as much fun when i can use my own id for it
I can't wait to see you, I've been doing mouth stretches for the past 2 days
He's going to regret telling me he doesn't care if i shave or not...
I know this request is pointless but you two please try to keep the drinking and drug use to a minimal, I have bail money so write my number on your arm and a "if found call", wear a life jacket and act like a responsible 28 year old please.
A girl pulled up next to me at a stoplight just now, looked around for a second, and then changed her top, bra and all, before the light turned green. New. Hero.
Just found out I own a pyramid. Fuck your good grades, I'm living in my pyramid.
I didnt want you guys to know I needed to puke, so I just nonchalantly did in my solo cup and threw it out the window
i am rolling on molly so fucking hard i want to do 300 cartwheels
Here's a concept though: eating pasta while getting laid
Sexting just isn't as much fun once you learn how bad he is in bed...
I'm in the recliner and i have a bottle of wine wedged in my cleavage, drinking from a straw. Clever and classy or pathetic and sloppy?
Randomize
