I looked at him all bewildered and he said, "what? I figured if it was under 30 seconds it'd be free."
Well ya in hindsight obviously offering the cop a jello shot was a bad idea
You know i think she's just using me for sex
I hate you.
you really dont want me to drink and drive. you saw what i did to my face and that was only from walking
I just found a GIANT thermos of sangria in my sink. I don't know if its still good to drink, but its good to drink.
Make this decision based on your love for dick - NOT based on the fact that its probably one of the worst things you've ever thought of doing
So he ended up throwing a watermelon that he stole from the cafeteria saying "if i cant have it no one can" of the 5th floor.
This is the high leading the old right now
I'll be on pinterest all night planning crafty things to do with my cats in 10 years.
We stared down the barrel of pure insanity, took more and the electric elephant god rewarded our fearlessness by giving me golden skulls and naked women crawling out of the walls. I love acid
I've blown him while he hit my bong, I've blown him while he played video games and now I'm looking for a new challenge. Don't even try suggesting a blumpkin.
I'm pretty sure I just need an IV drip of Plan B at this point...
Can I pee and smoke my bong at the same time or is that like eating on the toilet
Any idea why my ass cheeks are bruised again?
The fact that theyre bruised AGAIN means you're not adult enough to know why.
When you wake up and wonder why your bleeding and it feels like you jumped into a ceiling fan, dont worry. Ill explain it all when I wake up.
Randomize
