areee we human. . .oorrr areee we dancerssssss?!
you srsly need to quit going to that bar
nothing says happy new years better than a black eye from shooting yourself with a champagne bottle
I developed a drinking game for WoW. Everytime I die, I take a shot.
Please get laid.
I just got asked if I have a rule for sleeping with people. Like they have to buy me dinner first etc...
On that note, do I have a rule?
Should I feel bad that I fucked her and made her ride my little brothers razor scooter home?
Iranian Rapper, camaroonian basketball player, mexican i forget and indian doctor....this one looks the best on paper.
I'm sorry you couldn't sneak away today. You're the only guy I'm fucking that I can talk with about the other guys I'm fucking, and I need some advice
TGIFridays...stall number 1...drunk...send help
Hold on... Are we having an intellectual conversation about porn?
Yup
I love us.
Nothing says "forever alone" like receiving a friendship bracelet from your parents.
She ran from her surprise party screaming "I'm not ready for an intervention." Yeah, the girl has a problem.
Can't tell if waking up covered in easy mac is the sign of an amazing or terrible night
You kept ripping all your clothes off and saying, "Let me be free!"
There is a man in my bed with "new zealand" tattooed on his back. Wtf happened last night?
All I want right now is a waffle and some fried chicken and a penis.
Randomize
