I havnt had this much beer since i losodt my virginity. thank. god.
Walking home still drunk in snow. Snowflakes are my only hydration..Need moreee
Well his aunt was in the next room so we had to be quiet. I felt like i was on an episode of silent library.
Is it possible to make a milkshake in a martini shaker or am I gonna need a blender?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Real housewives of new joisy starts MONDAY. Skype session after? Virtual slap the bag?
Chillin with my Grandpa and my grandma tells us there is a tornado warning. My grandpa then says "We'll go hang out in the basement, we can bring the keg with us." This is why I love coming home
So he handed us the weed then asked us if we needed any papers. And she goes "i dont know what that means, do we need to sign something?"
You yelled "GET TO DA CHOPPA" and burst through her screen door and disappeared into the night. With the goose.
What changed your mind?
Being sober
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He equated my biology degree to a belief in Santa. I wonder if he heard the doors to my vagina clanging shut.
In the wise words of Scar: "be prepared."
Do you think Scar was a Boy Scout?
I just finished packing for spring break, took me 4 minutes. To be fair though I only put my trunks, a pair of underwear, and 50 condoms in my bag.
This girl I interned with got engaged today and I'm just like over here taking plan B with my tacos and PBR.
he went down on me while I ate Oreos. I don't know what caused the orgasm.
He passed out in my car.
What's the problem?
HE'S STILL IN MY FUCKING CAR.
Randomize