I just am on my way home.. i had 3 and one startd crying and puking.. so they went home. one bitch fuckin ruined it for evryone.. u playin cards?
i dont know what it is, i just found it in my pants.
The only good thing about trampolines when you're fucked up is the gushing blood really cleans all the bad coke out of your nose.
Dude it's bad when your 10 year old son makes fun of your penis size.
Girl, he can't tell you not to take a bump just because you work tomorrow. You're on a wedding diet, remember?
I knew I was in trouble when she kept referring to the next day as things we should do
So you brought her to my house and left her on my couch.
HE ASKED IF I HAD SIBLINGS WHEN I ASKED HIM TO LICK MY ASSHOLE
Woke up eating a pickle on the bathroom floor this morning in some random guys sweat pants.
day drinking caused me to be in bed at a decent time. can't complain.
I feel like my cat and I are playing mind games. I need more friends.
are you still up? I want to use you for sexual things. you have 35 minutes to respond to this offer.
She was crying and pulled the collar of her shirt up to blot the tears. And then she just kept her head there. And stopped crying. "My boobs are just too amazing for me to cry." her words not mine please help she's still in that position
my ex finally blocked me on all social media and tbh I'm only pissed because his roomate just got a puppy
i've got three words. i. was. spanked.
I should have known when she mixed malibu and V8. It smelled just like tanning oil and when she drank it she said "Oh well, not the first time."
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