my roommate and her friend got reaallllly high last night and it looks like they played scrabble. one of their words is "nippal"
hows the new call of duty?
I only had sex with the game case so far, but that part was awesome.
Hey Operation Dumbo Drop... FYI, when you select your date this evening, our doorway is 3'x7'
I can't believe I just compared my penis to a St. Bernard.
I walked in on you rubbing your nose all over his face while straddling him and yelling "I'M SO SORRY!" repeatedly. I'd say you were in pretty good shape at that point in the night.
Drinking ketchup directly out of the bottle does not make it tomato juice.
I want someone to sweep me off my feet and you want someone to fuck you on the kitchen table. They're both perfectly logical needs.
Hey girl, do you remember you made me brush your hair with a plastic fork on Saturday night?
You need to be full form and virile tomorrow so I can live vicariously through your rub and tug.
I just watched our fat male neighbor dibble a soccer ball across the lawn. It looked like Baywatch with diabetes
Because the guy guy doing the drawing either wanted to bone, or wanted us to stop entering the contest. Either way, we got concert tickets so I'm cool with both scenarios.
I thought he was foreign, but it turns out when you're that drunk, an Ohio accent just sounds Russian.
how should I feel if a guy kept complimenting my bangs while I was giving him a blowjob?
Your aunt just offered to blow me for a ride home....how did you end up such a prude?
I can't really feel a difference, so essentially I paid 60 bucks to bedazzle my vag.
Randomize
