I want your puppy
I meant pussy
I would rather you take my puppy
Omg my grandpa just told me he wants to die in his 90's shot by a jealous husband
The answer to your question is yes. I am wearing a star of david to the bar in order attract a jewish man.
marshmallow pipe was a success. so was melon pipe. come try it
You know what i just remembered? I asked the 8 ball if i was gonna get kicked out this semester before any of this stuff happened and it said yes. ITS REAL.
My head feels like a nest made of hair and cum
Girl it's 3:30 get your life together and come enjoy a bowl, some coffee and a brownie with me
I saw it and almost just was like "Ice breaker: your penis is massive" but I didn't.
Told my prof I have mono so that he won't judge me when I show up hungover and looking like shit to class every day.
Just skip
Please. i have SOME standards
Also, since I switched back to this phone I've found a crop of dick pics and your funeral arrangements.
Btw...refried beans is a terrible thing to throw up.
Don't be the guy that has his dick out at work.
We just stood outside and debated the existence of mermaids for about 20 min. Is this what too drunk is?
Did that sound smart? Cuz beneath the boozy exterior beats the heart of a fucking scientist.
no no no no you can't just say your dirtiest secret is "i sat on goldfish by accident once" and just leave i have QUESTIONS
AT LEAST TELL ME IF THE GOLDFISH WAS STILL IN A BOWL??????????????
Randomize
