Where are I am going home with Ryan
I don't know who this or Ryan is but it is probably too late to talk you out of it
He asked me if I "almost moaned"
I can't finish this paper in my room because every time I get distracted I start masterbating. I think it's time to go to the library...
I just found a 1/2 inch of mimosa in my shoe.
You should get more absorbent shoes.
if we dont hook up this weekend, im doing both his roommates
I was on my way at Dorito Smoothie
that's why you don't digest questionable powders from girls wearing tutus at a dirty club
Stories of my weekends have cause divorces, are you sure you wanna hang out?
Consider it an appointment to improve my blow job capabilities.
You have no idea how pumped I am. I literally plan on dying. You're in my will
My tits became the mascot for the SAE house last night.
I've seen you go skiing on a Tuesday, but you think you're too good for TGI Friday's?
Gave his drunk ass water, & he poured it on my shirt while saying "WET T-SHIRT CONTEST!" When reminded of it today he replied with, "at least you came in first place"
Chick in the kitchen making breakfast.. Yours or mine?
when she didn't finish her burrito you wanted to call the cops because you said it was neglect
Randomize
