Dogs love guiness but it fucks up their kidneys
I love how girls just decide that guys who don't like them must be gay
I do the same thing. If a girl doesn't like me...I am like, "i must be gay"
Rule #1. Nothing comes between you and fantasy sports. Not even a hot chick willing to give you a blow job
i think i just witnessed the elusive male walk of shame
a girl just told me i should have been born earlier in the alphabet
It will be a surprise...all i can say is stripper clown
i am way too old to be getting fingered at work
Just pure bliss will emerge from Charles, my tranny bong.
That would warm my breasts.
In this context breast is a metaphor for soul.
I'm just going to eat my milkshake, watch teen wolf, masturbate, and lament my inability to form meaningful relations with men who aren't gay
I feel like I'm pretty optimistic for a girl that might be pregnant.
I'm just going to ride dicks all the way to the to the gates of hell
EW HE LOOKS LIKE SOMEONE'S DAD
I know that whole thing was awkward. Not worth the piece of cake.
Idk what's worse.... Yesterday not waking up in my bed or today waking up in the hello kitty gown.
Randomize
