I think I just sat on my labia. Can I borrow some scotch tape?
Not only did I hold your hair back as you puked, i french braided it. I am such a great friend.
I guess you can say it's a tradition... whoever brings home the ugliest guy has to do all the cleaning the next day
I'm on my fifth double. This night is getting better whether it likes it or not.
I told him "thank you for wearing a turtleneck yesterday, I no longer have a strong erg to have sex with you. " He is no longer speaking to me.
He sent me an email apologizing for sleeping with her...and by that I mean he sent a picture of his dick to my school e-mail
Adderal just makes me love life. I want to do so much. I just can't stop thinking about all the wonderful opportunities we have and how lucky we are and I want to make a difference in the world. I just have to reign in my brain and convince it that changing the world starts with a college degree, which depends on studying for these finals.
And our DD is passed out in the bathtub with the curtain closed. What happened tonight
My boyfriend sold my favorite shoes right off my fucking feet last night outside the bar. It might have played a part in our breakup today.
Totally forgot I asked the cop for a theoretical fist bump and he still let me drive away
Is biking from my house to 6th street for liquor pitchers a good idea or a bad idea
So I definitely fucked a guy while holding on to his pigtails like reigns last night.
The most literal cowgirl position ever.
Some guy named spider just bought me 5 shots
Keep in mind this was 2012... YOLO was a very new concept.
The people above me are fucking to Miley Cyrus
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