i hope S**** or M***** or someone took note of the fact that i was drinking popov like water and could no longer form sentences. i mean, dont get me wrong i had been thinking about boning R*** long before my sobriety left the picture but the number of reasons not to, outweighed the temptation and without sir robert burnett as R***'s wingman, it would have never happened
i also saw a trio of peacocks walking along a sidewalk in hollywood today. i really hope im not tripping.
She was sucking his dick at Seacrets outside bar in front of all of us...her friends kept coming over crying and yelling "Tiffany stop it"
So what if i ate it off the ground. Its like i found a five dollar bill just laying there, in burrito form.
I made weed fried chicken. What have you done today?
I don't know if its because i'm stoned or what but painting my kitchen yellow makes it look crooked
I hid drinks in her bathroom closet.... like a squirrel... a squirrel who knew she was going to get cut off soon
He took shrooms and didn't want anyone to touch him. He kept saying he was a chip and he didn't want to break.
You said that my dog would "complete your puzzle" then you got naked and took it behind the bar
I'm still in my ugly sweater and underwear drinking coffee next to a plate of assorted treats we stole from the party. I got a new sweater by the way, its shoulderpad-y and looks like a news anchor got thrown up on by Liberace. I'm pretty proud.
Somehow he made it really romantic
He came on your tits... That doesn't scream romance to me.
I'm seriously considering refraining from drinking on school nights.
I like how you say that with 4 school days left of the school year..
The last I heard from her she said she was going to plant sunflowers, get drunk on white wine and listen to Everybody Wants to Rule the World on repeat.
You're going to love the baby's room.
I doubt it. I can't have sex there anymore. That severely limits the appeal of the room to me.
woke up hungover this morning lying in a water raft covered in water.. i dont know if i should consider this good or bad
Randomize
