I dont need to watch it. And stop comparing your life to Entourage.
I'm playing with the baby I just found in your kitchen
After what u did to that bathroom I think the $30 and the "sorry I'm a jackass" note was the thing to do.
New swimming pool is best sex toy ever. We are pioneering the doggie-style paddle.
I opened my door to go to class and all there was was a raccoon puking on the doorstep. In hindsight, it was a very accurate omen.
I can't believe you just became a stipulation in their divorce papers.
He makes me wish my vagina was bigger... This must be what love feels like.
Do you think that my Facebook profile picture kinda look like im being raped by a 10 foot polar bear ?
youre always welcome to strip dance on tables with me Mag. what are friends for.
yeah...that's gonna come up in court
His grandma held his dogs so they wouldn't follow me out the door. It was like a whole new level added to my walk of shame.
For future reference. Do not congratulate the bar tender at oscars she is not pregnant she has just gotten fat u will get a shot thrown in your face
Nothing like sunday church bells to aid your walk to the pharmacy to get plan b
I just realized this morning that my fridge is stocked with coronas, hot dogs, and cheese dip. And I just got waxed. High-five, your best friend is on track to be all kinds of slutty fun this wkd.
I’m the skeleton in his closet, but I only come out on Tuesday and Thursday afternoon and when his wife is out of town
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