so ur a construction worker, male escort, sex god and surfer? lol
well its been awhile since I've surfed
Vegas for my brothers bachelor party. Just landed and I have a boner. I'm giggly and teary eyed I'm so excited.
Walk of Shame. In a state park.
We just took shots out of seashells. Welcome spring break 10.
I miss your penis. And I totally say this as a friend. I just miss it because it's great. You should be very proud of it.
Escaped ambulance. Meet me at your apartment.
I just want to have weird supply closet sex with him... and then I'll be all set. Fired, but all set.
she fascinated with the iron the back of the toilet seat. she made me sit in the bathroom with her for a solid 10 minutes while she just stared and laughed at it
I've already dropped her on the ground of a crowded bar dancing , been incoherent drunk to the point i couldn't speak and came within 2 seconds all on separate evenings so at this point she should know what I'm about
It's funny because every time I go up and down the stairs it's an adventure. A A DRUNK ADVENTURE. PS I ALREADY THREW UP WTF
nm just hungover. watching movies and roasting marshmallows in bed, over a candle to avoid life
ROB LOWE. SO BEAUTIFUL. SO DOUCHEY. SO HARD TO SPELL HIS NAME WHEN DRUNK.
I need a costume for that party. Even if I'm just taking it off.
But, if I start dating you brother, I can't talk to you about the sex anymore!! Like... Can we talk about it anonymously?! I just won't use his name.
He was calculating the number of ceiling tiles when I was on top it was fucking rain man.
Randomize
