My parking ticket this morning was 30bucks. I feel like I'm paying the city to fuck you.
I just watered my plants with apple juice. Look what you made me do.
From the prices on this menu it looks like I have no choice. I have to blow him.
Also I smoked away my sore throat last night. It's a 420 miracle.
Listening to my boss get blown in the next room by a male bartender from the gay bar. And watching pawnstars. Tell me I'm not the best wingman ever.
Yea I saw a friend of yours carrying your limp body somewhere
wait can you just like go into detail with this penis touching thing? like was it a hand job or was it like a day at the petting zoo or something
Great. Now I have to produce, edit and leak a sex tape before Saturday. Fundraising is hard.
Of course I fucked him. He was wearing a rainbow cock sock and cowboy boots.
Ugh... The hoe gods giveth and the hoe gods taketh away.
She was doing drunken zumba and screaming "FUCK YOU I HAVE MY OWN STYLE!" at the TV
For someone I see at the bar by herself all the time... I should have know she had a tazer.
How much weed can I reasonably smoke now if I have to leave for work in a bit over an hour
Change of plans & whoring it up tonight
All I have in my purse is 10 cents and a plastic ducky.\nI can't explain last night.
Randomize
