you were calling yourself Ulickes S. Cunt.
Her cooch smelled like a combination of bacon and sweat.
all we ever talk about is how much i like your dick or my drug problem.
Any time you start making pro wrestling references before 10 PM I know that I'm breaking up a fight between you and some muscled up frat boy you call Hogan.
my mom sold the house because of the grow room the couple saw i had in the basement.
I've see this movie. You sext me after the bar and fall asleep mid sentence. Roll credits.
We got a Christmas tree, decorated it to surprise his wife And kids who were out of town for her father's funeral, then fucked like rabbits on their new mattress before he had to pick them up at the airport.
Found out that no one else got Christmas bonuses...and you said nothing good could come from sleeping with my boss.
I'm gonna have to flying elbow somebody tonight in memory of Macho Man
Oh, and trying to figure out who wants to do Molly in a frat is like asking damn children if they want puppies and candy. So just bring as much as possible.
When you passed out on the kitchen counter she brushed and flossed your teeth, then carried/dragged you to bed. Why aren't you married?
I told him if he ever gets a "wink" text from me after 10:00pm to assume I really mean "we should be hooking up by 2:30am"
My breasts were aching with rage.
I get off at 11. but they've been letting me go early cuz I've been crying a lot
I think I just read the whole internet. Front to back.
Randomize
