i guess it's bad bediquette to quote the kool aid man
?
he said oh yeah and i responded with OHH YEAHHHHH!
what i wouldnt give for a night at orourkes without seeing 3+people ive slept with
The last two calls in my phone are dominos and 911. I'm not sure how my night went.
He doesn't fuck you and he's married, why do you keep letting him cum all over your stomach?
In the hopes he'll just put it in one day?
We were all singing so you said you were going to play a percussion instrument... the crackers.
we made it to hole 3 and then just sat down on the fairway and finished off our case....cheered on other golfers as we let them play through.
You got in the cab and told the cab driver "we only have seven bucks so you better drive fucking fast".
I wanted him to come me this time. So I told him last time I was in the city I hit a lady on the head with an inflatable Santa Claus and just found out that the restraining order she requested against me was granted. We never hung out.
Yeah when we were together he never sent me dick pics like a normal boyfriend. It was always pizzas. That should've been my sign.
I fucking love your mom. She's so drunk and fully functional. I aspire to be her one day.
If someone plays phil collins i'm gonna take off my clothes
Well yeah. But im not sure i trust the black out drunk high girl giving life advice
Well I'm glad your Saturday night went a lot better than mine. I spent mine crying in a McDonald's parking lot.
Gave his drunk ass water, & he poured it on my shirt while saying "WET T-SHIRT CONTEST!" When reminded of it today he replied with, "at least you came in first place"
He passed out with his shoes on 20 minutes till midnight, and I didn't have a sharpie so I took the cheese whiz and filled his exposed ass crack.
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