So, I'm about to rent a movie, order pizza, and use my vibrator.... Am I dating myself?
How old was that tiny chick? she needs a lard iv.
we're at the bar and some girl dropped a bottle of burnettes strawberry vodka out of her purse and it broke.
i mean, if that's not class, then i don't know what is
You don't give head? I'm offended and I don't even have a cock...
New first...just saw an entire family of homeless hitch hikers...kids and all. God, i love Oklahoma!
last thing I heard her say before I passed out was 'this is great. I never get to be the big spoon.'
Right before he passed out, he said "Stuporman, coming in for a landing"
She had another shot and asked if I wanted to taste her tongue ring. Then I helped her pee.
Well when you get back to your computer, there's a nice explanation of pansexuality on your Skype.
Are sex swings allowed in dorms
I have tan lines from my nipple rings.
Come to office depot with me I need help picking out a daily planner that will help me keep all of my casual sex dates organized.
My legacy here is being that tiny blonde girl that threw someone down and shouted "Fuck your face, I'm Dee Dee Ramone."
Hey, thanks for helping me this morning
Always a pleasure to feed you bread as your body lay crumpled on the floor.
I figured it out! There's blood on the kitchen floor because I fell into the dishwasher. And there's a face dent. And it doesn't work.
Yea.....I saw that happen.
Randomize
