Its only 8 and she is already passed out
Perfect here is wht u do. Gently slip your index middle and ring finger into her butt hole but gently u dont wnt to wake her..let me know when ur ready for step 2
He tagged himself in all of my pictures so he would get a notification if someone commented on it.
Restraining orders are what college is about.
you ever feel like there is a sober person insided you pointing and laughing....?
I cant leave dude. theres a horse with a top hat on
Just got booked to do a bachelorette party for a polygamist wedding. And notice I only text you to rub things in your face and show you my life shits on yours. Daily.
Any night you end up on the couch next to the trash can with a bag of white wine on your head is a rough night.
So last night ended up making out with a girl going to jail on sunday...she wrote down her address so I can make conjugal visits...
Cookies. Watch out fir falling satellites.
yeah the little voice in my head screaming YOU NEED TO GET LAID eventually grew legs and started kicking me so to avoid brain damage i had to fuck him
you're usually drunk when you offer. there's one time you called me, told me not to dye my hair red, and asked if i wanted to see your tits.
Amazon.com "suggested" I buy both nipple clamps and opera gloves.
we managed to melt a few different forms of plastic into the cannibutter....
Of course I fucked him. He's a professional beat boxer, his entire job is to do complicated shit with his tongue.
When did we go from stumbling drunk into an ER at 3am to dinner double dating?
Dude I just woke up naked on the floor with my dick in a boot. Legit in a fucking boot. I also have no idea where I am.
Randomize
