It's an Italian thing I guess, grew up on that shit.
I'm Irish, we don't eat cow guts unless they're blended into a fine whiskey
she came to the game with a camelback filled with booze. except it was only the bag part so she duct taped to her back
Currently microwaving whipped cream to make white Russians and hotboxing the kitchen while this random kid is dancing in the corner.
I'd be a gr8 surrogate. I'm gonna love your fetus
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
MOMMMMMMMMMMAYYY! YOU BIRFED ME TODAYY. IM CELEBRTIN ON YUR BEHAF! THANK YOU!!!!!
I always hoped you would never inherit this side of my personality. Hon, trust me, you're a mess. Go to bed...alone. xoxoxo
The dog just sneezed and it sounded like a person, after I said bless you I freaked the fuck out and got the gun
Fuck. I have to get my shit together by lunch. Mission impossible.
How is there no taco emoji?! That's some bullshit.
Everywhere I look there's another kitten this is so ideal
Can I live on acid? Kittens man. Kittens.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's like all the guys I keep around if I wanna have sex with all got mad at the same time. I guess I'll get out my vibrator again.
No I kepy moaning and just called out a name to make them believe I was actually having sex instead of masturbating.
There's no button for "gave my boyfriend's cock to a friend" on my intimacy calendar.
i just saw a man in the grocery, sitting on the floor, eating out of a galon sized tub of macaroni salad. We need to get on his level.
I just drunkenly emailed my feminist dissertation as a resignation letter for my call center job. What am I doing with my life!?
Protip if he licks the back of your knee and you reflexively kick him your game of 'lick the lady' is over.
Randomize