I was at the bar last night dancing, puking in a trash can, and ordering another drink all at the same time. Have I lost my dignity?
haha no as long as you did hook up with anybody after that.
... oops
is it sad that pink shorts and cowboy hats remind me of getting jizz in the hair?
Standing here next to my mom talking to my friend trying to act like he doesn't sell me E every weekend.
it felt like the flash was giving me a handjob
i wanna anger bang this girl behind me at work. she never shuts up with her annoying voice. but her boobs are phenom.
just got invited to smoke a bowl by a guy who has a prostetic leg and has been on the jerry springer show multiple times. I love my life right now
Hurricane Earl: Get Blown party at my house friday! Byob: bring your own bitch/booze. Must have 80s blown hair style, kazoo/noise maker (vuvuzelas/airhorns are allowed), and/or bubble wands. \n
Why am I even shocked you're doing this....
You're surprisingly coherent for someone who thinks her couch is breathing.
Just found out they make medicinal lollipops, bought like 40 of them. Gonna go fill a pediatricians lollipop bowl.
Jordan and I are drunk and barred out at the liquor store sitting in the awesome $70 Corona bench bargaining with the owner for a lower price, all while passing the Belvedere bottle between the two of us. Real life. College has down this.
I stole a tiki torch last night and just returned it. Things have been better.
No. I'm sorry but once your "would go gay for" list exceeds five people, you're bi. Get over it.
She tried doing a backflip and ended up doing somersaults down the entire stair case.
dude, there is no doorman in your lobby and the front door is locked
oh yeah, sorry he's up here at the party. coming now
We got high, had sex, and watched retro scooby doo shows. Best friends with benefits yet.
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