Do you have a shampoo for semen
Or a time machine
Farmville is her only friend.
i'm so high that for the last 10 minutes i pretened my sock was a mouse, and played with it like it was legit.
i woke up with a wedding ring drawn on my finger...if this was vegas id be worried
i want to swaddle you in tequila
She just sucked the buffalo sauce out of my beard. I've never been so disgusted and hard in my life.
if you lined all their dicks up next to eachother, it would be like at&t bars
I swear I only do things like fuck 19 yr olds just to hear how you laugh when I tell you.
The guy I met last night said we had a real connection and gave me his AA coin because he met me during his relapse
Dont worry about getting me anything... Just put a bow on your ass.
Deal.
Way to ruin everything
I am drinking jager with a cat, your argument is invalid
The best part about living in a college town is the annual rush of senior girls who want to get in their lesbian experiment before they graduate.
Always wear a seatbelt when giving road head. I think I'm just going to tell people I don't remember how I got the fat lip.
Is it sad that I just pissed sitting down so I didn't have to stop eating doritos?
I need some buff guys to cuddle me and call me precious
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