i found the vodka. it was hiding in the orange juice.
just woke up and my boobs have "fun police" written on them
please stop taking shits in my toilet and leaving them there.
the #6 from wendy's when stoned is definitely better than sex. i dont care what anyone says.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
when i got to my bed there was a handwritten note that said "wash the sheets." sleeping on the couch.
well, 500 bucks doesn't grown on trees, and i need that bear suit for any chance of vagina access.
Sorry you had to see that, but on the bright side...at least I trust you enough to have sex in front of you
Remember when we made you finish your beer after you puked into your glass?
i hate being the asshole.
drunk freshman in the bathroom puking keeps saying "i'm a peasant" over and over
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I just want a man to crawl into my bed with me and never crawl out. Anti socialism at his best.
After closing we did it on every flat surface in the bar. Best use a coaster if you're coming to happy hour today.
For the first time in my life, I may be the most normal person in the room.
Update: I am definitely the most normal person in this room. And the least tattooed.
He let me eat chexmix while we fucked... I think I love him.
My theme for the night was drink diego drink! Unfortunately Dora was not there to navigate me to the bathroom
how is it I left wearing underwear then ended up with none? and why is it they are on you?
Randomize