Turns out "bordello" doesn't mean what I thought it did.
a kid in a transformers shirt tried to pick me up last night at work. he also rolled up on a bicycle, the kind with pedals. do i look that easy?
I just heard a guy scream "it must be five o' clock!!" and another guy screamed "somewhere!!!" out from different balconies.
found a pic of my little bro & his girl naked. he got the brains and the huge junk gene. I hate him
There is a visibable outline from you in the grass. its you in the fetal position...
The melted ice in my drinks tonight is probably the most water I've had in like 3 days accumulated.
I just had a threesome in the back of my mom's van. I'm pretty sure the rest of my week is going to be epic.
At one point last night I over heard you say " I'm gonna puke in a bag and pour it down your throat" I LOVE YOU.
I'm trying to pinpoint the moment when "don't do anything I wouldn't do" became bad advise.
This hangover is so bad, we are pregaming Chinese food with pizza.
He just kept yelling cup my balls to everyone they kicked us out after 20 min
Joined a porch party below me by climbing out the window and jumping off the roof. Tonight will be good
When was the last time you made a good decision when you could've made a shitty one
I had a salad today
Screwed a girl without a condom but hey at least you got your veggies
I'd probably lick every tooth in Carly Rae Jepson's fucking mouth.
Teen Choice Awards are on if your wondering.
HE MIGHT HAVE YOUR BUTTHOLE, BUT HE CANT HAVE YOUR HEART. THATS MINE.
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