My balls are so social today.
you proceeded to suck on ur pinkie saying it reminded you of chris and you wanted him badly
Just saw Youth in Revolt. There are only so many times Michael Cera can lose his virginity.
My mom gave me a high five when I told her I was just using him for sex
You and your mom would make an amazing tag team
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
if theres anything i pride myself on, its my ability to look homeless.
We're high and this subject came up and I'd like a female opinion: if you were a dude, what would you do if a girl tried to give you a foot job?
Babe.. You are farting in your sleep and it literally smells like something crawled up your asshole and died.. I'm gagging and I feel like I'm eating your fart right now. I want to tape your ass cheeks shut and plug up that canon you call your ass. All I hear is snores and farts.. You are lucky I love you
Btw his name is Woody. I must be really drunk to think this is a good situation
WHY DID YOU NOT OFFER TO LET HIM STAY
Dude, it's like you want him inside me more than i do
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
yeah, i'm probably gonna die. still gonna be totally worth it tho
He said we had an hour long conversation about how awesome I was.
i just got hit by a door and im the one that said im sorry, yeah im drunk.
That's the only way to watch Gumby. Either age 5 or high.
Also you think METH is on the same level of wanting to see the movie cats? We’re gonna unpack that later
Shit day. Some kids decided to open my car at 3 AM while I was at work and the alarm went off. I went after them with a sword but they were minors so I didn't kill them.
Randomize