wait.. the condom broke. ehh whatever i think im already 2 months pregnant
I don't know. The next thing I remember we were in the walmart parking lot making out.
good luck with ur interview. Just show them your confidence and don't make that sucking snot noise. Really don't. Praying for you, love mom
she wanted to watch hairspray while we fucked. she's obviously your kinda girl, dude.
Ok that kid was ether gay or 12 with a beard.
We found you passed out clutching your purse. There was 16oz of unopened cheddar cheese inside. You just kept saying SALSA YES.
I didn't think about how painful the pumpkin seeds coming up the next morning would be. Oh well, I'm good at making pumpkin seeds and that's all that matters.
With a few pieces of metal and duct tape and a bong was created
She told me she's into girls now. I told her there would be a full bottle of jäger and an empty bed here Friday.
Yeah, I've been trying to get him to eat healthier. Turns out he'll eat almost any fruit or vegetable as long I let him eat it off my body.
Well, it's a fine line between people-watching and boob-staring. It's a gray area. But we're in Paris. Let's leave it at that.
He's like all my past boyfriends wrapped up into one fuck up. It's enjoyable to watch.
You started crawling towards a moving train. Maybe you should take it easy next time
What're you gonna do with the rest of your night?
Probably watching cooking videos and fantasizing about pie
You were so drunk, you kept telling everyone you had a platinum vagina.
Randomize
