so, totally just picked up a pack of red bull, and some magnum condoms and the old woman at the register's tone went from "hi blah how are you" to "oh....how YOU DOIN'?" she knew what was up
By the way, shout wipes are a gift from god for people that throw up on themselves.
just prayed to lady gaga in hopes it will help me pass my fashion merchandising final...what is my life?
Next time i try to unbutton my R.A's shirt with my teeth, please stop me
No promises.
look up what dreaming that you're in a lesbian relationship with a manatee means.
I think my AA sponsor just booty called me.
i just realized... if i ever hook up with someone on my bed, we'll be fucking atop my animated batman themed bedset.
Mom just walked in with a bag of weed and funyuns. I'll talk to you later.
The true debate: do I prioritize going to bed and getting more than six hours of sleep or do I prioritize washing out various grease, leaf bits, and jizz out of my hair
We watched X-Files, ate pizza, and he played with my butt. It was a pretty standard Monday.
You just had sex during the movie Radio. This is an all time low
So now I'm just going to brush my teeth, get high, and go to sleep. Like an adult
let me wake up, find my pants, and find out where i am tommorow and ill get back to you on that
I can't decide if I miss drinking or you, they are so closely connected.
They have a shelf full of jello shots, what have i gotten myself into
Randomize
