So you refered to him as "monster dick"...not so much
So there is a chick dressed up in a vagina costume handing out free condoms next to the dude handing out free Bibles and preaching about sin. I love college.
Girls only wine night turned into a sloppy drunk lesbian orgy again
I dunno if we should get high tonight man. its daylight savings. time travel is just too much for me right now.
We didn't need to cut her off. I'm pretty sure the lit candle she almost drank would have done it for us
Sometimes I wonder how you ever made friends then I remember it's because you blew your way to semi-relevance
Whoa, I am aware of WAY too many squirrels right now...
Plus, it's just valuable. Virgin pee is very well-priced.
Yeah i was handcuffed to the bed all night but i actually slept like a baby
We held a candle light vigil outside the jail hoping for her release, until we realized we were drunk in the jail parking lot.
They have a house rule that you get a composite for every 5 guys you sleep with. Where should I hang my new one?
Mom and I shoplifted today. Her idea.
Retirement sounds fun.
Unless he's under 18, in which case you put him back where you found him this instant.
I'm going to have to go for it. It's like Mt. Everest. It's large and unpredictable but I live for adventure and it's worth never coming back from. Mt. BigDick.
I thought I was really making her scream. Turns out she had a Lego jammed in her lower back.
Randomize
