Do you have a straightener and are extra lubricated condoms not the norm?
whoever gets the blood i just donated is getting a shit ton of free thc
Would you let Jessica Biel poop in front of you to see her naked...but you have to wipe her too?
How many times can you lose to your mom in beer pong before you can no longer show your face around campus?
FYI don't ever, ever get a lap dance from a stripper who says " she's having a bad day " at a bachelor party.
I'm sorry. I really don't see what's wrong with pregaming before a wine tasting.This champagne won't drink itself.
The wine tasting is just for charity anyways...
Oh god I can't handle any more dudes. I just walk of shamed to work wearing a guy's boxers and a life jacket. This summer is going to kill me.
You walked away saying that you had to pee and you never came back. We found you an hour later in his roommate's bed. Under the covers. Still in your wet bathing suit.
So. Do you think marshmallow vodka in hot chocolate while eating a graham cracker would = s'mores?
In some strange universe, yes
Tequila pump. I'm ecstatic your engineering degree has real world application.
Saw the same Luigi I hooked up with last Halloween. Still in his same Luigi costume and scruff that hurt my face
he was like captain planet, but less blue and more nakeed
I slapped a guy during sex last night because he moaned the wrong name. Then I remembered I gave him a fake name. Sorry bro.
I did just chug a pint glass of wine during a solid round of masterbation, so I believe I am ready for bingo.
“On a break” is implied when it’s a Russian chick dressed as Black Widow wearing Minnie Mouse ears
Randomize
