I cont stop tolking in a british axsent
I blacked out, fell off a swingset, and thought I was Liz Lemon for almost an hour.
You would only drink if the space jam soundtrack was playing, you thought it was hilarious that before every shot you said "y'all ready for this".
had a convo with my professor before class while peeing... new level of awkward or a breakthrough in our relationship? i feel like there is no longer a professional boundary.
They peed on our pledges last night... i dont know if i should put an lol at the end of that or not
For sure. We should see if we can get Mike to pay for one, and have a triple kegger... :o==& (that's future me projectile vomiting. i try to be goal oriented)
he offered to walk down from the bar this morning to my house and bring me a guinness...
how romantic. its the irish mans version of flowers
I want to see you in more than a weed delivering capacity
i just figured out how to balance my wine bottle on my boobs so that i don't have to tip it with my hands...breathing has new meaning
There's a fried egg and an empty bottle of reddiwhip in the parking lot. Did you have fun last night?
I just learned how to imitate a trains smokestack. The downside is it makes you look like you ate cocaine. The upside is YOU LOOK LIKE A TRAIN
You seriously don't remember crying about how much you miss your mom right before we hooked up?
We dated for a month and a half. he didn't like blow jobs. I honestly don't think he was human.
you know that australian accents are like the bat signal to my vagina
I think I just found my soul mate...he's wearing a zebra striped onesie and is into Michael Jackson...I'll explain in the morning.
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