I'm passing your future prison.
The lady at the touchless car wash just gave me the look of death. How do I say, "sorry it's not my puke" in Spanish?
george bush was a better president for first pitches than barack obama. there. i said it.
No i dont need Magnum Condoms, that would be like putting MC Hammer pants on my dick
Just had a dream about an abnormally large bottle of tequila. No more depressed drinking for me.
I had a dream that our used condom started talking to me. I told me that I did an amazing job, and told me that it saved me. From aids.
Oh btw, that was a wonderful blow job. You did a good job.
At first i thought she was a sexily dressed toddler. but not in a pedophile way, in a really on drugs way
I have a way to get him back. you're going to have to take one for the team and make a visit to the health department. you in?
They turned motor-boating me into some kind of sick game
He's the second guy this morning whose job is jeopardized because of my vagina.
You should have hard cock pics on hand to send in the situation that you can't stop driving, pull out your cock, browse the countless pics I've sent you of my tits, get him hard and text a pic through. I mean, it's simple sexting ettiquette.
He seems like a super lonely dude. I bet if I gave him a picture of my tits he wouldn't make me turn in this paper.
I know EXACTLY where things went wrong with her...I didn't use Cheetos as a wooing tool.
she's 6'2. you bet your ass i slept with her.
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