since when did accompanying a guy to a wedding mean that anal was required that night?
Do you think if Santa was real that he's have a big penis?
i need you to recap everything for me beyond "i think i'm gonna try vodka-pong"
All I remember is saying that "fire will make it all better"
He was eating her out on the elevator. What a good man.
I feel like the other woman.
You ARE the other woman.
I'm doing the Macarena naked in my living room right now
I see you're taking unemployment seriously.
There was a reason God said "Let there be titties" on the Fifth Day.
I'm pretty sure my intestines are bleeding but I'm still going to Orlando to catch that orgasm.
Sorry I couldn't reference you in my facebook quote. I will redirect any likes and comments straight to my blowjob efforts this week.
Idk she didn't seem that weird to me but I had just eaten an entire tray of jello infused with liquor so I could be wrong...
Do you think they'll deliver pizza to my mouth
I was trying to drink every time they said planned parenthood but my body isn't cut out for this.
I haven't showered. And am sitting in the office smelling like a beer can someone's been using as an ash tray.
Who brings nunchucks to a funeral?
Randomize
