is hooking up with someone you used to babysit wrong?
Writing a book: The Evolution of the Douche Bag: From Popped Collars to Ed Hardy Shirts. Doing research now.
Make sure you include chapters on white sunglasses, spray tans, and toxic amounts of hair gel.
Make me a promise>>> if you ever see the brats from that tv show NYC Prep walking around, you will trip them, and you wil throw drinks on them
I've reached the slutty point of no return. And it feels like multiple orgasms and coke lines
Doctor just prescribed me 20mg Ritalin 3 times a day. It's becoming the "grain and oats" section of my food triangle.
And one night I got way too drunk and thought he said call me a polish name so I called him Konrad. Now he thinks I cheated on him with a Konrad.
That's my new pick up line call me a polish name
My little brother found me on Instagram. If I'm not already the shame of my family, I'm about to be.
Rule #61 of being a lady: never get fingered by a finger with a knuckle tattoo
she keeps dunkaroos and gatorade in her bed. yep pretty sure im in love.
I've started brushing my teeth at 6pm, because honestly alcohol is the only thing I consume after that
I'm all about clean living these days
You started your day with fried chicken and a bloody
... after you woke up in your own urine
Sorry for prompting a philosophical penis discussion at 10:45 on a Friday night.
Well, I just puked in the shower in case anyone wants an update on how my day is going
Cmon. I wasn't that bad.
You stumbled ass first into the litter box, and everytime we tried to get you to move you said " if I fits. I sits."
So, is Canada considered an excessive distance to go for a booty call? Asking for a friend...
Randomize
