was i over the top when i said that i wished they made v-neck pants to her?
this guy literally just gave me a gold star sticker for the "stellar" blow job i gave him. ashamed? i think not.
ugh, today is just one of those 'get high before your 8am class' days.
My mom is pretending to be Paula Deen while making breakfast...I'm pretty sure she's sober.
Is it weird being in the house without any roommates?
Nah, just masturbating louder
On the bright side, nobody died. Please bring me back my left shoe. I have work in an hour.
Using the ceiling fan to slice the hotdogs in mid-air can only be contributed to our liberal use of 1800.
I am trapped in a bar with french tattooed drug dealers who also blow glass art. Just in case this is bad, know what happened.
dude what did you give her she's eating her pocket lint
That feels better than graduating college or that time I tried to ride a llama. Did you know they really spit?
yeah, I'm getting gagged by the cock of fate
Bumble is fuckin insane here. I'm going to break a hip.
She's so high she just screamed into the pile of takeout boxes "which one of you gave me diarrhea"
fucked him on the porch to avoid the chanting that always happens when we leave the bedroom. backfired when a group of freshman walked by and started screaming like fucking babies.
If by whore you mean UPGRADE....then yes I am
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