quick i need to know how implid consent works for golf carts
too late i think im gettin a gcui
running late. just ran over a dude on a bike
I have shoes on. No pants. And my jacket pockets are full of ketchup and grass. Yes. Good night.
I want to apologize in advance in the event I put my boobs in your face
One last question would your parents let me sleep in your bathtub for the night?
i have a feeling i am the only one who can successfully pull off the "slutty kentucky derby" look.
I FOUND THE NORMAL CONDOMS. THIS IS GOD TELLING ME TO CHASE AFTER MY DREAM.
I hope it's the birth control, otherwise I'm dying
Also, my aunt grabbed my phone and downloaded the scriptures. Apparently I need Jesus.
He'd rather cuddle with his shitty little miniature dog than the half naked girl in his bed. I've lost all hope for him and my vagina
You stopped making out with some rando guy to tell him you weren't sure about your sexuality then proceeded to follow me down the street to make out with me
I can't base my relationships off of good dick and dogs.
You're never gonna guess who's blood is on my shirt
Why do I feel like I really don't want to hear the end of this...
"They let me see the x-ray. My nose is broken. I saw it. It was cool. Well, I guess it would be cooler if it wasn't my nose."
Why don’t they have healthy alcohol yet?
Randomize
