yeah...it smells like an asshole would smell if someone ate sewage.
Gym doesn't open till 11. I'm sure that of the other four people waiting in the lobby, I'm the only one still drunk and only going to the gym to shower.
Even if you were sober, spitters are STILL quitters, end of story.
its like whenever the snow comes all the hott girls drop out of school. where are they
I shagged another guy with one ball last night. Are there really that many dudes with one nut in la or am I just a magnet for prostetic testes?
didn't know how to tell his mom I was confused about how long we'd been together because we banged for a full year before making it official
Do you remember trying to use a pencil, pen, and sunglasses as your second form of ID at the bar when they wouldn't let you in last night?
I'm so confused. I feel like I just intentionally took roofies to see where I'd end up.
You better keep a close eye on your uterus tonight cause I am looking good.
If you've ever wanted to get filthy in a Catholic church before 2 on a Wednesday, I might be your guy.
Was I at least a good cuddler? Like at least honorable mention?
you look like you're about to get down on your knees and give america the business.
i'm sitting in bed scratching my boobs and wearing a sparkly fedora and have no one to blame but myself
If only he'd realize the fondness I have for his genitals.
The streets are paved with hand jobs
Randomize
