sooooo how many boyfriends is too many?
you spent the night getting lap dances from a stripper with a c-section scar then ended up at a one room casino by the airport and you say you're too good to blaze and see pirahna 3d? bullshit
I'm in the bar bathroom about to pass out. But it's ok cause I set my alarm to go off for last call.
I specifically found a fat girl to lift me up on her shoulders.\n\nIt was glorious.
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How do I politely say my vagina is not a chew toy and if you bite me again I will slap you?
You could say take it easy, whoa there, be gentle, anything that doesn't fully convey the horror.
It's not really that big. Girls just think it feels big. It's a cocktical illusion.
I was only out of town for 1 week. His cell records show he texted 63 ex-gfs and hookups while I was gone. And 10 condoms are missing.
Could have had sex with an ex NFL kicker last night.
That would've been embarrassing.
I just had to take a picture of someone whose testicles are bigger than my fists combined. Living the dream.
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I really hope you didn't eat the bowl of melted vanilla ice cream I left on the coffee table. Because it is not melted vanilla ice cream.
i think ive crossed the line from sexually frustrated to sexually furious
Like my new perfume? It's a combination of Fireball, sex and bad decisions.
If you fall asleep, my vagina and I will never forgive you.
You think your roommate is bad? The guy they paired me with is such a nerd, his very presence at a party blocks every cock in the room.
so we’ve decided to fuck for our own health
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