First thing she said after sex was.. are you baptised by chance?
I puked in the cab and in my hair and he didnt even know
I wish I could get plan B off e-bay so it would be a secret and cheap.
Well I disagree, 3 different men in my bed over my birthday was the perfect way to say goodbye to my childhood innocence
He called me while he was having sex and asked if I wanted to go get mcdonalds
You know how girls with huge tits have back problems? Do you get knee problems or something?
Idk. Last year there was an ice luge, glow in the dark jungle juice, and lots of naked people. I feel like I'll get pregnant just thinking about going to that party.
Her roommate "grounded" her because she drunkenly tried to fill their fish tank with vodka
Girl I love you like I've been drinking all day
You know you can't live off of vodka and pizza rolls forever
I'VE ALREADY MADE MY CHOICE
my bed is a shrine, and I am its goddess.
Started mixing booze directly into the 2 liters and carrying them around. Mixing less often, and now kind of weightlifting,so double effecient.
Seeing my ex post concert Snapchat videos as an Instagram really reinforces that I made the right choice...
Oh you mean the girl that gave me a black eye when I told her I liked her fake eyelashes?
HER BOYFRIEND CAME HOME WHILE WE WERE GETTING IT ON IN THE SHOWER
At least you smelled nice while he kicked your ass.
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