Class is significantly more awkward when you know that your teacher knows what you look like with your legs behind your head... Just saying.
Well you really should've thought of that before you painted your walls the same color as your toilet
pregamed for the floor meeting. so stoned. i keep thinking my RA is shrinking.
I will give you 100$, a blow job a day for a month and I will shave my legs according to societal standards until next November if you come recuse me from my night class right NOW.
My text message history should be ashamed of itself right now.
That is NOT what pussyfooting around means. Try that again with your toe and I break it off.
Terrible hangover + phoenix airport + pizza hut....I think I might have entered one of the levels of hell.
At IHOP. It feels weird and sad that your cleavage isn't here for me to try to toss paper wads into.
He literally took a shit in my bathroom and then broke up with me.
Nope. Turns put my desperate group message for sex didn't work out.
Well you sent it to two guys who were roommates.
They could have rock paper scissored for it. My vagina = the prize.
My day went from bad to worse when I realized I puked out my second floor window last night.
He was like low grade Riff Raff, but I hit it. Twice. His grill popped out the second time.
last night i fell off a barstool and busted my nose. i can regretfully say that i didn't see cherub last night.
Finally get to put my practical writing degree to use! I'm writing a craigslist ad for a threesome
Gave her a puke bucket just in case. She filled the bottom of it with tears. Super sad. Although I am super proud she didn't puke. That was a lot of Fireball.
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