hey, what are you doing? my roommates are gone for the night... you should come over ;)
nah, i'm gonna grab some food
I really liked your hair last night but that style makes it really hard to hold it while you puke
I left when they started reinacting what appeared to be a jerry springer episode
The bar posted my picture because my name changes with each new fake i get. i'm getting a wig.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I made out with him with my retainers in. My drunken hook-ups get lazier and lazier.
Drunk walkin through police station. America
This would be a good time for the don't get drunk and bang a married chick pep talk...
I think the world is coming to an end. Earthquakes, huricanes, floods, and now you say you LOVE him. Im building a shelter and going into hiding.
Hey that girl we tagged team last night invited me to her birthday on Facebook, remind me to be sick that day.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You called me at 3 am and I rode my flat ass bike that I dug out of my garage in the dark to meet you at dunkin donuts for a 10 minute convo about your mother and you didn't drive me home.
you owe me a blunt and a bottle of moscato.
IM WAITING BITCH. ANSWER ME.
somehow this went from sexting to explaining my eating disorder.
You didn't say, "No." And you stole more than half of my Snickers. You owed me that dick.
This couch is so comfortable I can tell if it's like a waterbed or I pissed myself
you face planting the wall was epic
did you at least save my tooth
I want to conceive our bastard child on an athletic field. Why can't we make this happen?
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